SARAH PALIN COMPARISON TO SOMEONE MORE EXPERIENCED

Some thoughts as I wait for the presumptive GOP VP candidate to speak

CLAIM: Two years in the Alaskan Governor’s Mansion—or Governor’s Igloo, as it were—comprise sufficient experience to run the bleeping country should something happen to the 72-year-old cancer survivor at the top of the ticket.

REALITY CHECK: Put this in perspective. Let’s say McCain decided to name Greg Ballard, the Republican mayor of Indianapolis, as his running mate. He would be stoned from all sides. Even the GOP talking heads would have trouble selling that.

But here’s the rub: Ballard is more qualified for VP than Sarah Palin is. He unseated a popular Democrat to win the mayoralty—according to Wikipedia, the biggest upset in Indiana history. Also, Indiana is in play because of Obama’s Illinois sphere of influence. Indiana is smack-dab in the center of the country, not so far away that most elementary school kids think it’s located beneath California, in a box.

And the kicker: Indianapolis has a larger population than Alaska. In fact, nineteen U.S. cities, including juggernauts like Fort Worth and Columbus, Ohio, boast more citizens than Alaska. Nineteen. One-nine.

Simply put, Alaska is small potatoes. Running Alaska for two years doesn’t prepare you for running the United States of America any more than winning your high school Battle of the Bands prepares you for opening for the Rolling Stones.

CLAIM: That 16-year-old, unwed Bristol Palin is five months pregnant is completely irrelevant to the issues.

REALITY CHECK: Not if one of “the issues” is sex education. Sarah Palin supports abstinence-only sex education, the egregious failure of which is incarnate in the body—the womb, to be precise—of her daughter. (Someone should have rented JUNO, huh?)

Contrary to popular Religious Right belief, Democrats don’t actively campaign for women to get abortions. Abortions should be legal, safe, and rare. By foisting this ridiculous “sex” education on ignorant kids—that abstinence is no match for biology and peer pressure is axiomatic—the Religious Right are putting more women—check that, more girls—at risk of having abortions, which they profess not to want.

Forget for a moment that it’s hypocritical. It’s stupid, is the point. And so, therefore, is Sarah Palin.

CLAIM: She’s bulletproof because she has five kids and the baby has Down Syndrome.

REALITY CHECK: She named the baby Trig. I don’t care what language that means strength in, it’s just cruel.